Heavy-Metal Hour

He gawked at the world’s obvious history…. Something revolutionary, something vintage, something Incan too…. And he came to realize that there is time to come.

There are days away from the spoils of his own history, which involve too many things that he couldn’t fix or make better… And he thought that he was fine, that he was wasting living by rambling thru only what was true.

So he cultivated fields of dreams and fantasies whereat to unwind, to undo his belt, recline in his car, forget about his creations, and breathe…. It was in the open road. Still. Quiet. Tranquil…. Eternity sold for a dense pause in the woody clarity of a lonesome road.

In many ways, he begin to share his story in a language that is currently silent…. It is only a starlit whisper…. And so when people would call him, he would begin to pace the asphalt until the soles of his shoes were worn down…. He would promise a return to himself, a rest and release…. But then he would leave.

Then a day came, when he hiked thru his uncertainty of future and his disdain of past…. It wasn’t anything…. But he was someplace, and he didn’t hate to be there… It wasn’t the road or his home…. But it was a middle…. A mawkish wetness that overcame his body, and it freed his brain from a contemplation stretched forevermore….

But that was a dream, a death that was still in a passage that he was yet to undergo…. Consequently, he asked if this was it, in the end do we have to make peace with chaos… Accept meaning with a gun at the back of the head…. No God to answer, but he recognized that today or tomorrow can only be okay, until he changes… And he would have to be good one day at a time, and he would have to be good every day.

74 Comments

  1. This feels like to me a realization of living in the moment and not looking back. Maybe a continuation of your last piece like a story of this beautiful journey you are on. So beautiful to see when you are on the outside looking in. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Well, yes remember I said can you write an ending so I stop doing that? I feel like this is a continuation and a beautiful one 🙂 I feel a lot of your writing has a thematic flow and style that is unique to you. That’s what makes it so good. IMHO 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. “Heavy metal thunder” breaks the silence, yet no answer from above or below. Speaking of lost history, did you see the article “The Day the Music Burned” in the NY Times posted on June 11th?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ………..but she recognized that today or tomorrow can only be okay, because she is still….in the midst of chaotic change……..because the whole earth is hers, and its history, and its present, and its futures in an unbroken succession of unimaginable changes………….

    Sarah

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This line got me:

    “Eternity sold for a dense pause in the woody clarity of a lonesome road.”

    Besides this line being my favorite and everything being my favorite as gold.

    I’d say this called on me as us giving in to the road of lonesome calmness and freedom of all our troubles and worries. Beautifully well written prose of beat poetry my friend. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  5. And she had her friend the jeweller melt down the gun and make anklets for her which the fearful see as monitors and the amused know are the reminders of her discipline of stillness……..Because she is at heart, wild. Wild.

    Sarah

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      1. There is nothing but ourselves and how we see the world around us. What we get from or family, fate or anything else. Everything just is. We make of that what we will. Life is neutral and we decide what is good, bad, fun, horrific, or otherwise. It might seem as if those things are obvious, but that’s because we get to decide. Life is chaos that we try to tame and give it names. There really is no order, there’s pending disaster (if that’s what you want to call it), change, death, more life, endings and beginnings and we have little to nothing to do with any of it. It happens and we do what we can to survive it until our end. We make things up to not go crazy and pretend there is stability and order around us, when, there’s really only what is. And what is just means that anything can happen at any time.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. And whatever happens is sometimes an abstraction with no respect to our routine anthems. Because we’re not running, we’re not still, it’s like we’re being carried against our senses. But all we can do is stop struggling.

          Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s true…we are being carried…carried in each moment because there’s nothing behind or in front of us, there’s just the moment we’re in. We’re being carried along by whatever this is. It’s not really time or space, since those are things we deemed real. We don’t know what this is…something that’s here for an instant and gone. But we are stuck where we are, as long as we’re alive, unable to escape except through death and we have no clue where that will take us, if it takes us anywhere.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Scary. But only if you live your life in hours blackening your dreams. If we come apart from the thoughts, then we explode into endless colors. But that’s only so-so true, it’s only poetry…

          Like

  6. Dang! You just put into words thoughts I’ve been having as of late…
    I like this composition—the spaces between words and thoughts.
    This piece has so much hope. Acceptance. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Totally agreed.
        When Virgil and Dante are at Hell’s door Virgil “with looks of cheer that bade me comfort keep…”. Even in hell—don’t lose hope.
        Even when the soles of your shoes are worn down—there is hope. 🙂
        I wonder—do we make peace with chaos? Or do we order chaos in such a way that it becomes peaceful? Or is that the same thing? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It probably depends on outlook. I think we make peace within chaos, but a better understanding is that chaos becomes peaceful. Either way, I think we both understand. How was Dante’s Divine Comedy btw?

          Liked by 1 person

        2. I envision standing in the calm eye of a storm…chaos all around, but still and peaceful in the center…have to find center. Always—especially during the darkest moments.

          Dante inspires me! Tough reading, but totally worth it. All throughout the Inferno is the message of hope. We create our Hell and we choose to remain—but even in Hell the Divine is always there. Empowering message. Now I am half way through Purgatory—also hopeful.

          You mentioned before that you related to Dante’s Purgatory. The whole human experience, eh?
          Ok, quitting time for me—look forward to reading more of your thoughts next time. Cheers, friend :).
          PS. And thank you for the kind welcome—it does feel nice to be back. Time away made me really appreciate just what an awesome community we have here. Keep writing and inspiring!

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Okay, I feel that this secret might subtract from what you may think was original but a lot of the things I think are inspired by a show called Six Feet Under. It’s a very meditative show about life and death, and it has given me a profuse interest in being what I believe is interesting. Here’s a heavy hitting line from that show— Life is wasted on the living.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Revealing a secret only adds, not subtracts in my mind…. I’m pretty sure I have seen that show – very dark humour but seen so long ago all I can remember about it is I liked it.

        And yes, life is wasted on the living. Just like youth is wasted on the young – right?

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  7. It feels like you have been on a roll, or maybe it’s just that the pieces you have shared lately have felt more intimate, like they are words that have a knowledge of who I’ve been or who I currently am. Another masterpiece to add to my ever growing list. This piece could mean so many things, but it speaks to me as, everything matters and yet nothing does, and this realization creates chaos. It also seems to ask, does life exist if we don’t create meaning?
    We may desire to find, seek, repair, lose or return. We may simply want a place where we float in a dimension that tells nothing, asks nothing. Whatever our definition of chaos is interacts with whatever is our definition of order. Somewhere along the way of whatever is unfolding… one truth that we have is that we can take it all and create our own definition. Love? Longing? Nothingness? Connection? Emptiness? Even meaning… does it matter? Is whatever this is, or was or will be, wasted on humanity? On ourselves? In losing our connection with, our faith in, our appreciation for humanity, do we lose ourselves? Do we ever truly lose ourselves, and if so, can we find our way back? So many contemplations, so little time 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right? We look forward, look backward, in magazines, on movie screens, but meaning is still at the back of the head. And we repair so many things, to bind our multitudes, that we forget to collect and express our threads in acting blood.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, and an interesting thing I think, is that we naturally strive to make new meaning when meaning is taken from us. Repairing is one way we do that. And yes, we can have too much to repair, halting our ability to “express our threads…” We create meaning pretty much regarding every experience. Meaning isn’t just aimed toward loss, but regarding gain as well. Creating meaning appears to be a top priority, instinctual behavior. When our grasp of meaning is altered, we feel off balance – chaos ensues. Interestingly, even those whom create a chaotic environment – material items scattered everywhere, nothing in its place… they go into action if someone organizes their chaos. They add new chaos, because only in living in a chaotic environment do they feel a sense of tranquility. That is where their meaning lies. We humans are an interesting crowd 🙂

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  8. A roadtrip that leads somewhere
    . . . to destination wisdom from
    a truck stop of highway despair.
    Sighting the glimmer of realisation
    that it is not he, or she or them, or it,
    that you belong to. Listening, with
    the window down, to the rage
    of a revolutionary sage, and the
    mantra of a much younger Dylan.
    ~ Thanks Watt for taking me along😎

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    1. Thanks for complying!! Robert Zinnerman is the ultimate weatherman for our world, never trapped in the dance of cruel romance, but the comedy of songs that widen circles around the seamless world.

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  9. Intriguing post. I think many of us are feeling this way now. I’m feeling ready to pass the baton of anger, grief and disdain for what we’ve become, on to the next generation who may be stronger. Back in the day I would have felt this is a “cop out “, now I know, there is only so much fight in each of us. I’ve chosen my battle, and will continue with doing what and whenever I can to help the plight of elephants, other animals, and nature. Maybe it isn’t even so much not being strong as choosing what we can handle, each picking something, because the alternative, especially today is exhaustingly overwhelming.
    Or I could just be caught in the moment because it’s early morning and after a few days off, I have to return to my “day job” which I dread 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I get that. Sometimes it feels like I walk into a room and I’m with down people, then I walk toward another room with some other people. It doesn’t feel like my reality.

      Like

  10. Everybody is having WP problems. Thank you for finding the time to follow me again!! It means so much. 😀

    No, it’s not me. Parts of it are how my mindset often works, but otherwise this person is living life in a sad extreme. I’m someplace in the middle. 😬

    Liked by 1 person

  11. “So he cultivated fields of dreams and fantasies whereat to unwind, to undo his belt, recline in his car, forget about his creations, and breathe…. It was in the open road. Still. Quiet. Tranquil…. Eternity sold for a dense pause in the woody clarity of a lonesome road.”

    My. God. Amazing…

    so grateful to have found your site. 🙏🙏🙏

    Thanks for sharing your writing with the world.

    Liked by 1 person

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