Saccharine

“Help, I have found myself lost again. I am lurking and I am needy of goodness, help and presence. I’m alone above a folded cave, in the redly lit backdrop that I call the sunset. I feel breathless. And I wrap myself in the easy comfort of the trodden dirt of the desert, its coarse fingers. How many times have I gone wrong? Where did I go wrong? Find me and help me breathe, won’t you please be my friend, won’t you help me look for myself. Loosen me from this knot, I’m standing at an angry height, looking down and thinking whether there are enough mountains to save me. I need to be another age, an age where I wasn’t so far ago. Help me be myself. Drain my blood, fill me with the worsened chemicals to keep me-I’m already gone. But don’t repeat me. Make me realize what we had in the chambers of a small, incomplete life- how I knew not enough but felt like it. Rescue me before the piano is plucked, until it runs and catches up with me-marking my close- and I wish it was fire. Watch all my hope trembling over the flaming sky like a viscid droplet about to splatter and adorn the old ground. I hope in the midst of people that loved me, somebody liked me. All I can do is watch from the window. I’m in seclusion, receding to the columns of shadows that will leave me in pain someday other than today. Don’t erase me, feel emphatic for the character you never knew.

I’m on my own now, I’m on my own again, I’m on my own, I’m on my own”.

15 thoughts on “Saccharine

  1. Coherent and so lucid that the empathy of others is never going to leave the author of such words.

    Wherever you are, if you use these words with this discipline and laser focus, you are taking us with you. We are voluntarily going with you but…the more lucid you are, the less it may be voluntary. For some.

    You can see how near to the bone you are here. Rib-cage bones: the ones which encase and hold up and guard the breathing mechanism. Ours.

    Words mean everything to me. A game, multiple pathways, life itself. Your words also. Watt Sarah

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I was going to include this in my first response. Then I thought not. Now it is a new and brilliant morning and so I will.

        One of the great interests to me of your work is that you do not let sleeping dogs lie. No more did Munch. Not to speak of Rimbaud.

        I am with our master, Jung, who pointed out that you must come face to face with those dogs and confront them or absorb them and if you don’t, they turn into monsters to eat out your very life.

        Care has to be taken, of course. And on a brilliant morning, the brilliance of the morning has also to be recognized……….Sarah

        Liked by 1 person

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